Boxx — Business Development, Reframed.

Confidence, Reluctance and Personality: Why You Don’t Need to Become Someone Else to Do Business Development Well

Many capable professionals tell me the same thing, often quietly: “I know BD matters… it just doesn’t feel like me.”

What sits underneath that isn’t laziness or lack of ambition.

It’s usually reluctance — and reluctance is often misunderstood.

In business development, we talk a lot about strategy, skills and targets.

We talk far less about the emotional experience of BD: the discomfort, the exposure, the fear of getting it wrong.

One of the most useful ways I’ve found to open this conversation is through personality — not as labels, but as lenses.

The Lion, Otter, Retriever and Owl (as lenses, not boxes)

You may be familiar with the animal shorthand often used in DISC-style frameworks:

• Lion – decisive, bold, comfortable initiating conversations
• Otter – sociable, enthusiastic, energised by visibility
• Retriever – relational, thoughtful, motivated by care and trust
• Owl – analytical, reflective, confident through preparation

Most of us are a blend. But most business development cultures are not.

They tend to reward:

• speed over reflection
• visibility over consistency
• confidence signals over quiet competence

Which means Lion and Otter behaviours become the default definition of “good BD”.

When the model doesn’t fit, people blame themselves

For Retriever- and Owl-leaning professionals — who are often:

• conscientious
• values-led
• technically strong
• deeply client-focused

BD can feel emotionally risky.

Not because they lack capability, but because:

• they don’t want to be pushy
• they don’t want to perform
• they don’t want to say the wrong thing commercially

This often shows up as reluctance.

But reluctance isn’t resistance.
It’s information.

Very often, it signals strong ethics, care, and a desire to do things well.

Reframing confidence

One of the most damaging myths in BD is that confidence comes first.

Behavioural science tells us the opposite.

Confidence is usually a by-product of action:

• small actions
• repeated consistently
• in environments that feel psychologically safe

When people wait to “feel ready”, they often stay stuck — not because they’re incapable, but because the emotional barrier is too high.

Doing business development “your way”

Effective BD does not require everyone to:

• attend every event
• post constantly
• pitch themselves loudly

It can look like:

• thoughtful follow-up
• deep sector knowledge
• careful preparation
• staying in touch over time
• becoming a trusted advisor

When organisations broaden their definition of what “good BD” looks like, participation rises — and confidence follows.

From personality to systems and culture

The real opportunity isn’t to train people to behave like Lions or Otters. It’s to:

• design BD systems that support different styles
• make expectations explicit
• break BD into small, doable actions
• normalise learning and awkwardness

In inclusive BD cultures, people aren’t asked to be braver.
The system is redesigned so that showing up feels safer.

A final reflection

You don’t need to become someone else to succeed at business development.

If BD feels uncomfortable, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It may simply mean the model you’ve inherited doesn’t fit.

Reluctance is not a flaw.
Confidence is not a personality trait.
And effective business development comes in more forms than we’ve been taught to recognise.